the healthy way to share my feelings
Dear Lady to My Left,
I’m baffled. Why, oh sweetbabyjesus why, would you come to yoga today? You clearly have the flu, swine or otherwise (though, after listening to your chesty cough for the last hour, I feel consumption may be an option as well), and all that hacking into your shoulder isn’t doing a bit of good for the rest of us in this room. This room which is heated and humidified, so as to make the conditions for germ sharing OPTIMAL. See this guy to my right? He’s been farting since Awkward Chair and I don’t resent his presence nearly as much as I do yours.
Though, I agree with my friend Laura. Neither of you are really making deep, cleansing breaths all that appealing, but at least he’s not potentially effing up the only vacation I’ve had this year. Actually, the only real vacation I’ve had since March, 2008. You understand my angst; that’s a very long time. And, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m having lunch with Cinderella in two weeks. And if I miss this lunch, I swear on all that is holy, I will find you. And I will cut off your hair in your sleep.
By the way, your Standing Bow is pretty. Bear in mind, it would probably look less so without hair.
Love,
Heather